Sentada con Todas Mis Partes / Sitting with all my parts

(English below)

Hace mucho pensaba que solo se trataba de mí, luego me enteré que había una pequeña adentro y empecé a conocerla; sin embargo, con el tiempo comenzaron a aparecer otros y otras, cada vez más y más. Un día me vi sentada a la par de 9 niños: unos emocionados, otros callados, unos coloreando, otros escuchando música y tarareando, y una en particular que estaba asustada. Todos en un espacio de menos de 3 metros cuadrados.

 Si esta escena me hubiera aparecido hace algún tiempo, probablemente la hubiera ignorado o hasta me hubiera molestado el ruido que estaban haciendo; pero esta vez, vi en cada uno de ellos a todos mis niños interiores: unos emocionados, otros callados, otros escuchando música y cantando, otros haciendo ruido; silenciosa observé todas sus expresiones, sus gestos, sus palabras.

Mi atención se centró en una de ellos que podía tener 10 u 11 años y estaba bastante asustada, trataba de ocultar sus lágrimas pero para mi era evidente. Estaba sin su familia, manejando completamente sola sus emociones en ese momento. Decidí solo observarla y tratar de transmitirle la compasión que estaba sintiendo por ella; al hacer esto me llené de una sensación de amor y paz que se llevó toda preocupación o miedo que yo pudiera sentir en ese momento.

No quise decirle nada, tocarla, ni tratar de tranquilizarla, simplemente quise enviarle el mensaje que estaba ahí para ella sin importar cual fuera su estado emocional. Que iba a estar presente durante su miedo, su llanto, su preocupación; era todo lo que podía ofrecerle: un espacio seguro donde sus emociones iban a ser recibidas y contenidas.Al pasar de los minutos miré que había dejado de llorar, después dejó de estar asustada y en un momento me miró y me sonrío, yo le sonreí de vuelta. Quité la mirada por unos minutos y luego cuando volví a ella, noté que se había quedado dormida, yo me di la vuelta e hice lo mismo. Las dos estábamos en calma.

El resto del tiempo que estuve con ella la seguí observando de vez en cuando, como queriendo decirle que seguía ahí con ella. La vi reír, jugar y cantar con sus amigos, estaba completamente cómoda donde se encontraba. De vez en cuando me miraba y nos sonreíamos; no volvió a estar asustada, ni ella, ni yo.

A long time ago I thought that it was only about me, then I found out that there was a little one inside and I began to know her; however, over time others and others began to appear, more and more and more. One day I saw myself sitting next to 9 children: some excited, others silent, some coloring, others listening to music and humming, and one in particular who was scared. All in a space of less than 3 square meters.

 If this scene had appeared to me some time ago, I probably would have ignored it or even been bothered by the noise they were making; but this time, I saw in each of them all my inner children: some excited, others silent, others listening to music and singing, others making noise; Silently I watched all their expressions, their gestures, their words.

My attention was focused on one of them who could be 10 or 11 years old and was quite scared, trying to hide her tears but for me it was evident. She was without her family, handling her emotions completely alone at the time. I decided to just watch her and try to convey the compassion I was feeling for her; As I did this I was filled with a feeling of love and peace that took away any worry or fear that I might feel at the time.

I didn't want to say anything to her, touch her, or try to reassure her, I just wanted to send her the message that was there for her no matter what her emotional state was. That I was going to be present during her fear, her crying, her worry; it was all I could offer him: a safe space where hes emotions were going to be received and contained. As the minutes passed I saw that she had stopped crying, then she stopped being scared and at one point he looked at me and smiled at me, I smiled at her back. I took my eyes off for a few minutes and then when I returned to her, I noticed that she had fallen asleep, I turned around and did the same. We were both calm.

The rest of the time I was with her I kept observing her from time to time, as if to tell her that I was still there with her. I saw her laugh, play and sing with her friends, she was completely comfortable where she was. Occasionally he would look at me and we would smile at each other; She wasn't scared again, neither she nor I.